A last special moment together (Dec 2016)

I wanted to share this picture, taken on Tuesday night, December 13th, 2016.

This is the last picture of Colleen when she was still awake and could talk with us.

We recently got a bunny for Faith and she had brought it up to play with Colleen. Colleen was delighted with the bunny (and with her daughters) and this was something precious Faith was able to share with her mom.

We normally had family time when we ate dinner together and in the evenings. However, in the last few months, Colleen often would only wake at night for about 1 to 2 hours. We started to gather around her bed each night around 9PM and tell her what a blessing she has been in our lives, how much we loved her and that each day with her was a precious gift from God.

This day on December 13th was a special day in that Colleen was able to wake from Noon to 10PM and spend one last glorious day with Faith, Mercy and I. God blessed us so much to grant us that time. We did not do anything to deserve it, and others have not gotten it, but God in His loving kindness granted it to us.

I was able to have a private conversation earlier on that day with Colleen and tell her it was ok for her to let go and go be with Jesus. Colleen was initially concerned about leaving me behind, leaving the girls behind. I assured her that our God has been so faithful to us, and given what He just brought us all through, I was convinced that even if I also died shortly after Colleen, that God would take good care of Faith and Mercy and that we had nothing to worry about.

I told Colleen her responsibilities were over on this earth. She had run a great race and I was proud of her. It was time for her to relax and to go be with Jesus. I think she took this in as she only woke briefly on Wednesday and then never woke again until she died peacefully in her sleep on December 22, 2016 at 1:30am. There was some labored breathing at times that Colleen needed pain meds for, but for the most part, Colleen rested peacefully knowing God would look after those she was leaving behind and looking forward to reuniting with those who had gone before her like her Dad Lee who accepted Jesus at his Death and who Colleen has not seen since she was twelve.

God saw fit to set the number Colleen’s days on this earth at 48 years, 8 months and 10 days. Every day any of us were given with her (and indeed with each other) is a blessing. I miss my wife, but I am reminded that the only reason we had those days at all is because God sustained her and allowed it.

The eternity of days before us that Jesus provided through his sacrifice on the cross is a gift that is beyond anything I can ever repay to God and so I can only stand in awe and praise my Heavenly Father who loves us beyond our comprehension.

P.S. I am a numbers guy. I believe the primary way God has chosen to speak to us is through His Holy word the bible, but I also believe God chooses to speak to each of us in different ways that are personal and meaningful to us.

I can’t put this under a microscope and prove it, but by Faith I believe the following are not a coincidence, but a further testimony of how my God, my Heavenly Father is not some abstract God, but is indeed a very personal God that loves me and loves all of us and wants a personal relationship with each of us.

1) Colleen lived on this earth 48 years, 8 months and 10 days.

She was born 4/12/1968 and died 12/22/2016 .

However, the funeral home put in the wrong birthdate for Colleen and at the viewing had incorrectly calculated her life span as 48 years, 7 months and 26 days.

7/26 in my youngest Daughter Mercy’s Birthday.

Is that a random coincidence or a personal message from a God who loves my daughter Mercy and wants her to know He will take good care of her mom?

2) Colleen died on 12/22/2016.

The day of her death, 22, is a double number. My oldest daughter faith was born on 11/11. These are also double numbers and 11 + 11 adds up to 22.

Again, Coincidence, or yet another message from a personal God to my daughter Faith that God loves her and will take good care of her mom.

3) There are several connections to Jesus found in Colleen’s death

A) Colleen went to the Hospice care facility on Monday December 19th and died shortly after midnight on Thursday December 22nd. As such she stayed in the facility just 3 days (M,T,W) before she died.

We were told the average time for someone that had stopped eating or drinking was 14 days, yet Colleen died after only 8 days of this (5 days at home, 3 days in the hospital), earlier than might have been expected.

The 3 days she spent in the hospice facility is the same number of days Jesus stayed in the tomb before He rose from the dead. Coincidence or another testimony that even in her death, Colleen points back to Jesus?

B) The last full day we had with Colleen was on 12/13. 12 + 13 add up to 25, Christmas day.

This Christmas (12/25/2016) fell on a Sunday, the same day Jesus rose from the dead and conquered the power of sin and death and brought hope into the world (John 3:16). Coincidence?

C) I was recently cleaning out Colleen’s night stand. We attended Church of the Savior for 16 years prior to coming over to Hill N Dale Christian this year. At our prior church, Pastor Steve Pearson (a wonderful teacher) uses sermon outlines that we fill in. Well, over 16 years, that is about 800 potential sermons Colleen could have kept notes on (I have boxes full myself).

However, I only found a single sermon outline kept by Colleen in the nightstand. It was a Christmas sermon Steve gave on 12/19/2004.

12/19 is the day Colleen went to the hospice facility.

What are the odds the only sermon outline Colleen kept would have been from a Sunday that fell on the same date she went into Hospice and on a sermon on Christmas?

Coincidence, or yet another sign from a personal God who loves all of us to point

us back to Jesus and God’s great and overwhelming love for us?

4) Colleen lived 48 years, 8 months, 10 days.

I did not know what significance 8/10 could have. I thought it had none, then I went to the calendar my sister in Law Valerie (Married to my Brother Mike) made.

8/10 is my Niece Amy’s birthday. Amy was the flower girl in our wedding, and Colleen loved to skype with her as well as her kids Hunter and Bri.

Another coincidence, or yet another statement from a personal God how much he loves Colleen, and loves Amy, David, Hunter, Bri, Anna, Andrew, Anna? Colleen would be very pleased to give a shout out to them all. J

5) Colleen slept often over the last several months, but rallied at 3 key points

A) August, my sister in Law Valerie came up. It was amazing, we had a rough July and a rough September, yet in between, in August, Colleen started walking around without a walker, she was not using oxygen often, she was more mentally clear than I could remember her being in years. It was as if God wanted to give us a preview to Heaven where Colleen would no longer suffer and would be totally healed.

B) Thanksgiving Day – Colleen got to spend one on one time with her Mom, her sister Tonya, Tonya’s boyfriend Chris, Her niece Hannah and Hannah’s daughter, Colleen’s great niece Annalee. Colleen took great pleasure being with all of them and they all had 2 blessed days together.

I believe this time was given to them as a personal message to each of them to share in the thanksgiving for all the time God had provided for them with Colleen over the course of her life and the eternity of time He can provide to them again in the future through Jesus.

C) Tuesday 12/13/2016 which I have already discussed, God gave Faith, Mercy and I one last blessed day to spend with Colleen before our separation period was to begin.

I miss my wife a lot, and I grieve my separation from her at this time, but I take great comfort in how many ways my God seeks to comfort me and to tell me each day how much He loves Colleen, loves me, loves my daughters, and indeed loves us all.

Happy New Years, may we all appreciate this coming year all the precious time God continues to give us with those left behind here on earth, and may we cling to the hope Jesus has given as we anticipate our reunion with those who have gone on ahead of us to heaven.