Does God truly love and respect women? (December 2018)

To all the precious women out there in this world, and to all the Men who love them, may you find this Post below an encouragement and a blessing to you all this Christmas as we celebrate all God has done for us. Blessings to you all and to your Families as well. Merry Christmas…………

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Does God truly love and respect women?

One day back in 2015, I recall I was sitting quietly in my room resting when suddenly the door burst open and my youngest daughter Mercy flew into the room in obvious distress. “Dad, this can’t be true, can it?”

“What can’t be true?” I asked. Mercy then showed me a facebook post that a woman had made that basically said the following:

The post initially listed this Old Testament scripture:

Deuteronomy 22:28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 22:29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

Then the woman making the Facebook post says “So he can continue to rape her the rest of her life? Who in their right mind could worship a God like this that would make such a law?!”

Wow. What a thought-provoking post! How would you answer your daughter if she brought this to you?

To answer surface questions about God, yes, I can simply go up to a mountain and enjoy the beauty of a sunrise, or walk on the beach and listen as the waves come in and I can know God is an amazing engineer, architect, etc. I can look at our individual DNA, retina pattern, fingerprints and know God took the time to consider us uniquely so we are individually important to God. Yes, I believe Gods laws are stamped on our hearts like we should not murder and we should know this even if we never open a bible.

However, if we want to know God on a deeper and more personal level than this, the only way that could be possible is if God decided to reveal His character and thoughts to us more personally. To reach the most people in a tangible way, the most logical choice to do that through all the years would be through writing and I believe there is compelling evidence that a perfect and Holy God chose to work with flawed and sinful humans and used this method to reveal Himself to us through the bible.

As such, to answer this troubling question from my daughter, I need to search further in the bible to see what this God says about women and also to place this specific charge against God’s character in context. At the time my daughter brought this to me, I gave her a short answer, but my heart desires now to explore this more fully that I can give her, and myself for that matter, a more satisfying answer to this initially troubling question.

I know many Christians that would get angry at a post like this woman made, but I believe this woman asks a perfectly legitimate question given the passage of the bible she quotes from. Of course, I think the deeper question this woman is really asking is how can anyone in their right mind believe a God like this actually cares about, respects and loves women?

That is a critical question for me as a father of two daughters that are so precious to me, as a man who loved his wife deeply, and who has been blessed with so many wonderful women in my life who have been such an encouragement to me, several of whom I consider spiritual sisters.

As a man, this passage initially disturbs me greatly and is very upsetting. If a man raped one of my daughters, the last thing on my mind would be for that man to then marry them. I would want the rapist executed or at the very least sentenced to a life in prison with no possibility of parole to ensure they could never inflict such overwhelming pain on any other woman ever again.

Colleen and I taught our daughters the bible was the inspired word of God. We taught them of a loving and kind Heavenly Father revealed in the Bible who loves us, who wanted a personal relationship with us so much that He was willing to sacrifice everything, including Jesus on the cross, in order to save us from ourselves and from our sin and the death it brings to us and reconcile our broken relationship with Him.

In the many storms we faced over the last 10 years of my wife Colleen’s life, the bible was a critical anchor God used in revealing Himself to us in the midst of our suffering and helped us as we held onto Jesus to see us through those storms. Now in the very midst of the storm back in 2015, my daughter Mercy was being forced to question her own Faith in this God of the bible. Did He truly love her? After all, with what He was allowing her mom to go through, this was already a question she had, and now this new post came to push this question even further to the foreground of her mind.

I can’t answer such a complex question in a simple one sentence face book comment. However, I would like to share some of the reasons why I can absolutely conclude the God revealed in the bible cares about, respects and loves women and why I conclude that Women are very precious to Him. I hope if you read this through all the way you will find it worth the read and also find it encouraging. If you do find it interesting, feel free to share this if desired.

First things First, the initial passage from the facebook post and the question:

Looking at this Chapter in Deuteronomy, when we read the entire section, I notice the following:

1) God condemns to death any man that rapes a married or engaged women:

In the verses that appear just prior to those this woman posted above, I read this:

Deu 22:25 But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. 22:26 Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor, 22:27 for the man found the young woman out in the country, and though the betrothed woman screamed, there was no one to rescue her.

Comment: So, for a married woman in Israel (Adultery laws) or even one as in the above passage that is simply engaged to be married, if she was raped by a man in an area where no one could hear her cry out, she was assumed innocent and is also assumed to be telling the truth. In addition, what was done to her is considered on the same level as murder to God per verse 26. The rapist is to be executed per verse 25.

So, the God of the Bible obviously takes a very strong pro woman stand here against rape and the violation of these women when they are married or engaged to be married. In addition, God makes sure it is known these women in this case hold no shame or wrong doing. The fault is 100% on the man and the consequence for the man in this case is to be death. This is very important as it is reported that many women that are raped feel shame and God makes a specific point here that should not be the case as these women did nothing wrong but were instead the victim of a crime, similar to the victim of murder.

It is then interesting to compare our own US Law to this biblical law. If a man in the US rapes a married woman or rapes an engaged woman, the sentence ranges from 2 to 20 years, and in many cases judges have commuted the rapist sentence (meaning no prison time) or parole boards have let rapists go in as little as 6 months. Contrast this to God’s law here and which seems more Pro Woman?

2) OK, the above sounds great, but that still leaves us with the initial issue of a virgin women that is not married and not engaged to be married that is raped as laid out in

Deu 26:28 to 29.

Comment: So, a few notes here.

A) As I read it, this verse is directed at the male rapist, not at the unmarried women that was raped. The requirements God gives are to the man. The Man is required to pay a large sum of extra money beyond the customary dowry (this will provide financial security to the women in the future in the event she has to return home and gives her some financial leverage), the man is required to marry the woman and never divorce her. I see no requirement on the woman or the woman’s Father that is protecting her interests that she actually has to accept this man as her husband.

So, regardless of if the woman accepts him or not, I read this as the man is to be considered married. Under the Old Testament law then, this man could never have sex with anyone else aside from this woman or he would be considered to be committing adultery and under Israel law at this time (Later changed by Jesus in the new testament as I discussed in my prior post “Is God evil?”), anyone caught committing adultery was to be killed. That means this rapist would never be able to do this to another woman without the consequence of death.

OK, So God places this restriction on the man, but what about the woman. Why even have a law like this. What woman in her right mind would want to marry a man that raped her?

In our current US culture, I agree this law makes no sense. However, to understand this we need to understand the Hebrew culture at this time. No Hebrew man would willingly marry a woman that was not a virgin. As such, the unmarried virgin here that had been raped, in addition to that tremendous blow of being violated like this, now the woman faced a life with no husband, no chance for children, etc. As she grew old in this society, she might feel additional shame at not being married and it would be a constant reminder of what happened.

As such, God is actually compassionate once again to the woman in this situation and gives her the option of choosing to marry the man that violated her, knowing he would have to stay true to her else he would face being executed, as opposed to living a life alone. Of course, many women may well have chosen to live a life alone, though in a farm based society, that would be a very difficult life. God gave her options.

If we go to another part of the old testament, we can see the effect of this law:

In 2 Samuel chapter 13, We read that Amnon (King David’s son) became obsessed with his half-sister Tamar. Amnon claimed he was in love with Tamar and one day faked being ill and asked for her help. While she was helping to take care of him, Amnon ended up raping Tamar despite her crying out for him not to do this evil thing. Once he had raped Tamar, he immediately began to hate her. He tells her to get up and get out of his presence. In verse 16 Tamar says “No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.”

So, you see, Tamar was in exactly the spot God had tried to protect. She was pleading with Amnon that after he had wronged her, he needed to obey the law and marry her and provide for her and show her honor as his wife. Instead, Amnon ignores this law and throws her out like he was throwing out the garbage. This is the very thing God was trying to prevent. Had Amnon honored the law, Tamar could still have family and honor in this society, but as he did not, she was left in a terrible position.

The bigger question posed is does the God of the bible care about, respect and love women. The answer is a resounding yes. Here is some of the evidence:

I understand there are a few cultures aside from the Judeo / Christian culture that honor women, but If you look at many other ancient religions / cultures, why are women considered important? Mainly for 2 reasons, sex and children. Aside from this, in many cultures, women were / are considered second class citizens.

Now, compare this to the Bible and how the God of the Bible views women:

A) Genesis 1:26, 27 The God of the bible makes a point on the very first page of the bible to say that Both Men and Women were created in Gods image and were initially set to co rule this world side by side as partners. So, a woman’s primary worth is initially established in the fact that same as man, she was created in Gods image. This is the main thing, so regardless of her looks or if she can bear children or not, a woman has intrinsic worth to this God of the Bible and is thus worthy of respect. In Ephesians 1:4-6, we see Gods ultimate desire is to adopt us as His sons and daughters, which was made possible through Jesus sacrifice on the cross.

My wife Colleen wrote once “I am a princess, not because I married a prince, but because my Father is the King”. Yes, that is the essence of why a woman is worthy of respect.

B) Genesis 2:18-25 After God made a point that everything He had created in Genesis was good, he noted one thing was not good. It was not good for man to be alone. So, what was the solution? God could have made a billion other men to keep Adam company. Instead, His solution was that Adam was incomplete and He needed to make a helper suitable for him. He created Woman to complement man and formed her out of Adams rib.

While I must admit understanding the female mind can at times be a challenge (Men are so much simpler creatures J ), I am so thankful He made us different as I have been so blessed over the years getting female perspectives on things that I have found so helpful. Even now as a widower dad who has been raising two daughters whom I so greatly love, I have often needed this input from my closest Spiritual sisters.

C) Genesis 16, The Angel of the Lord (Old Testament Jesus before His later Birth in the new testament) seeks out Hagar to comfort her and to promise her He would increase her descendants (Arabs). God seeks her out again in Chapter 21.

I especially love this passage because Hagar is not involved in the main plan to later have Jesus take on Human flesh and be born by Mary. That plan comes through Sarah, through the descendants of her son Isaac. Hagar is in some sense a side character in this story, yet Jesus is just as concerned about her as He is about Sarah. Jesus is concerned and cares for all women, not just select ones.

D) Genesis 21, God allows Sarah at an old age to get pregnant with Isaac and later in scripture treats her with much respect.

E) Genesis 29:31, 30:17, 30:22 God takes interest in Leah and Rachel’s desire to have children and intervenes to help them.

F) Numbers 27:8, God ensures in the event there is no male Heir, that women will inherit the estate and own property. He looks after them. Pretty progressive idea for the culture at that time in history.

G) In the book of Esther, God uses Esther to save the entire Jewish race within this country. In Ruth, Ruth is highlighted for her amazing loyalty to Naomi and to God and it is obvious that God is keeping a watch on these widows and does not lose sight of them.

H) There are many passages in which a good woman is highly praised in the bible by God, including the most famous passage in Proverbs chapter 31.

I) In the new Testament, we read that Mary is to be blessed by God with the Honor of being the only Virgin in History to actually give birth (to the long-awaited Savior). Her Faith and obedience as highlighted in Luke Chapter 1 are shown as very admirable.

J) If you read the Gospels (Mathew, Mark, Luke and John) it is impossible not to notice how kind and gentle Jesus is to the women He encounters and how much respect He shows them, from the woman at the well that no other man would have spoken to, to the woman of the street that pours perfume on Jesus (a woman whom his host despises but Jesus honors, shows love to and offers her forgiveness for her sin), to his friendship with Martha, etc.

K) Jesus respects women enough to tell them truth, in Love. He told the adulterous woman to go and sin no more as what she had been doing was harmful to her. He was gentle about it, but Jesus did not ignore the fact that the woman at the well had had so many different husbands and was currently living with a man that was not her husband. He mentioned that to her at the end of their conversation. Jesus spoke to Martha to encourage her to stop worrying so much about the preparations for the meal and slow down to just take time to enjoy visiting.

Jesus publically lets his mother Mary know He counts family based on spiritual connection, not based on mere physical connection, and points to all of His Spiritual brothers and sisters who are just as significant family to Jesus as Mary is (Luke 8:19 to 21). Simply only telling women always what they want to hear is not loving. Jesus was willing to risk women getting upset with Him by telling them in love truth they actually needed to hear.

L) In Acts we read in the early Christian church, the woman and the men are meeting together, praying together and working side by side together.

M) Ephesians 5:25 – 33 Husbands are called to love their wives in a manner like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it. In other words, Husbands are called to place their wives needs above their own needs, to be servant leaders in their home, and to cherish and honor their wives and lay down their lives for them. Seems this God from the bible is pretty pro woman to me.

N) John 19:26 and 27. Here is perhaps the greatest illustration of all of God’s deep love and respect for women. Jesus is suffering in absolute agony on the cross but in the midst of this takes note of his mother Mary and his disciple John standing there. Jesus makes arrangements for John to take in Mary and look after her after He is gone. Jesus had a lot on his plate at that moment with paying the price for all of us for our sin and saving us from sin and death, yet in the middle of the single greatest event in all of human history, Jesus does not lose track of ensuring Mary was taken care of. Neither does He lose track of any woman alive today.

Conclusion: If one reads the bible in its entirety and sees the lengths to which the God of the Bible goes to honor women, and to show them how much He loves them, there should be no room for any woman to doubt this God revealed to us in the bible loves them, and conversely for me as a man, I can stand proud to worship my God who cares so deeply, loves so much and shows so much kindness and honor to women, including those I love so much like my daughters, wife, mother and spiritual sisters in Jesus.

Hope you found this interesting and encouraging.

Merry Christmas to you and your Families.

In the calm, and in the storm, God is Good, Always.